Dear, My Ex Best friend,
I just want to thank you for showing me the value in understanding people for what they are. Thank you for taking all of my good qualities and turning them into something negative to fit your narrative. I am the one always doing something wrong. When in actual fact, it’s the other way round. Instead of talking like an adult, about what is bothering you about a person. You post passive aggressive statuses trying to get your point across. Whereas a real friend should talk about the shit that is happening. Instead you completely go off on a status rampage instead of growing up and speaking about shit! You deliberately put statues up hoping you’d get the same reaction as you create for yourself, and it didn’t happen. You saw it as something to exploit by making me not know where I stand with you, you never told me what was wrong, but you go and bitch behind my back.
Your kindness, or your (false) kindness , something about you must have truly made me think the world of you. Not sure what it was though. You see, I’m the kind of person who will love you genuinely or not love you at all. I don’t play games of in-betweenness and I certainly don’t pretend to be friends with someone if they are not someone I care about. The truth is, without you, I would have never have found out that I am tired of your pettiness and disregard for other people. I would have not learned that some people thrive on being unkind, mean, immature and find pleasure in making themselves feel good by breaking someone else down. I never understood the insecurity for what it was. Now I do, thanks to you.
Without you, I could not have learned how to look outside of myself and understand that other people are flawed too. You actually taught me how to appreciate that I am a person worthy of love, and forgiveness and kindness, by treating me the opposite way. You taught me strength by showing me that when I was in my greatest pain, the person I needed to rely on most was myself because you were only going to be unkind and orchestrate more pain in my life.
I know, you being you… You will probably go and post statuses about how much of a bad person I am, how much of a bitch I am and how “fake” I am too. Go ahead girl. But before you do that, look inside of yourself and realize all the bad shit you have done to me too. It doesn’t make me a bad person, it shows what sort of person you are. Because if that is the only way you get to feel good about yourself, then good for you. I don’t need you in my life anymore nor do I want you in it. See how I can talk to you or any person, without making fun of them? It’s because I feel good about myself, I don’t have to make fun of people like a high school person who doesn’t have any self confidence. You only have entitlement, pettiness, and hate to fall back onto. Because you can’t allow love into your life. You have to pretend to be a “good person.” You are always creating drama and feeding off of it, like it’s your source of life. I don’t have time for your drama anymore. Life isn’t a reality show, that you clearly live in your own head and make up shit as you go along to feed yourself.
I really hope that changes one day. I really hope you find yourself and stop being someone who has to break other people down to feel good about yourself. I really hope you find self-love. Genuine love. Not the fake self love you give out and make people believe you have. You can post all the statuses you want about being a “queen” and how much you “slay”. But deep down there is so much hate and bitterness that you thrive on being a sad mean person that has to pretend to be better than everyone else.
I hope you find some growth in your life girl. Growth that actually makes you a better person. Growth that actually helps you in your life. I am growing, I am heading towards a place in my life that I don’t want you in it anymore. Change is really great! I hope that you find some sort of change in yourself and in life that helps you change into a better, more pleasant person.
You can take this any way you want to take it. But you being you, you’ll take it as though I’m attacking you and find it so rude of me to tell you all of this. But it’s just me bowing out and growing as a person and telling you how I feel like an adult should!
Thank you for that. Thank you for every lesson you have taught me. Because I could not be prouder of who I am at this moment in time, and it’s because of you that I have to thank for that.