Let me just start off with this, everyone’s self-love journey is different. Just because each person doesn’t go through what other people are going through on their journey, doesn’t make their journey invalid. Everyone’s journey their own – different and unique.
This year has been a really tough year for me. From losing my grandfather, to losing my cat, to saying goodbye to friends that weren’t good for me, and to losing myself. I was not prepared for any of it. I kept thinking, why is this happening to me? I kept asking myself that question, each time something bad happened.
What I didn’t ask myself was what is this going to teach me? Something had to changed – it was me.
Self-love isn’t easy and neither is it a fast process. It’s long, it’s painful, you’ll have your good days and bad days, and you’ll have your doubts. But each day that passes, you know you are giving yourself the love YOU deserve and are entitled to.
Some of the biggest changes I didn’t even notice happening, already happened.
1. My relationship with myself changed.
I always looked at myself with judgement, hate, resentment, and doubt. I didn’t love myself for who I am, I felt angry all the time, because I wasn’t what I wanted to be. I practiced self-love but I didn’t see a change until I really put in the work and time. I realized that I am enough and that I am okay, just by being ME. I started to love all parts of myself, even the unfinished parts. Loving my flaws was difficult, especially when they were made fun of. It took me months to see myself as a different person – a person who had the right to love herself regardless.
2. My relationship with people changed.
Ever since I saw myself as worthy, it affected my relationships with people in my life. I kicked a friend out of my life because she wasn’t good for my mental and emotional health. She made me feel bad about being myself and loving myself. My life changed the day I told her she wasn’t good enough for me anymore. My mindset about myself changed, because I didn’t have the constant toxic talk around me.
My family and I have gotten closer, well with some of them anyway. My aunt and I are more closer than I think we have ever been. My cousin and I are bonding over things, I never actually thought we would. We have gotten closer and we have grown up. There is none of the constant fighting over status updates being aimed at each other or mean words being thrown. There is literally nothing but love between us.
When you change the relationship with yourself, your relationship with other people change too. When you love yourself, you allow people to love you and you to love them.
3. I found new parts of myself that I didn’t know were there.
I was so closed off from myself, that I didn’t really realise that there were parts to me that were there. Once I opened myself up and took the time to get to know myself as this new person I was becoming. Things started to open up. I started to open myself up to new things, new feelings, new thoughts and literally new everything. I see myself as a new human being, because I decided to open myself up and begin loving everything about myself that I didn’t before.
4. I’m healing.
There are things I did and things that were done to me in the past I had to forgive myself for. I had let go and forgive myself, because I put up with things that were done to me and what I have done too. It’s not easy healing parts of yourself that didn’t need to be there in the first place. I take it day-by-day to look inside myself and heal. I feel like a load has been lifted off my shoulders, I am new, with scars, dents and scratches, but I still remember the things that have made me strong and into the person I am today.
5. Speak kindly
I began speaking kindly to myself instead for always breaking myself down for not being good enough. Daily affirmations helped me so much, I began seeing myself the way I spoke to myself and about myself. I said things like “You’re a majestic piece of art. That is meant to be worshipped by you!” And as time went on, I finally began seeing myself as art.
I had an awakening of my soul, my heart, and my mind. There are some days where I am still hard on myself, but it’s not all day, everyday, like it was before. There are some days where it’s easy going through the day, and feel good about myself. It’s all about work and patience. I had this hole in my heart for most of my life, and it has slowly started to heal.
I am still on my self-love journey. I am finding new ways to love myself everyday.
Practice self-love everyday. It may not be instant love, but you’ll get to the place where what stares back at you in the mirror, doesn’t scare you anymore.
If you want a list of daily self-love affirmations, you can find a list I posted here.
It all starts with YOU!
This may seem like a jumbled mess of words put together, but I am a jumbled up person trying to make sense of it all.